Teh Credo Show!
by IlikeTHINGS
Summary: After Credo gets his ass handed from Sanctus, Credo attempts to reason why he went to Hell and ends up fighting to Heaven. This is a story of love, romance although mostly homosexual and plain epicness. Rated M for language.
1. The Beginning of a Legend

**_THE CREDO SHOW!_**

_Commentary:_

_This is a less serious story about what happens in Credo's afterlife, when he's in Hell. I changed Credo's personality from a angry person to a slightly sarcastic and completely irritated character because his personality could change in different environments and at the same time making it kinda funny. This is my first comedy type fan-fiction so take notice of this. Oh yeah and I thought I should write the fan-fiction as a script because I thought it may be easier for a comedy. And I also wrote it as if it was a game, e.g. giving it missions. I'll separate the chapters as three. Two are four missions and one will be three._

_Story Summary:_

_When Credo is sent to Hell rather than going to Heaven, he has a talk to someone upstairs and they negotiated that if Credo slays 10,000 demons in 72 hours, he will be accepted in Heaven. Meanwhile a few demons take notice of this situation and decide to counter attack._

_Characters:_

_Credo (Main Protagonist).  
__Agnus (Sidekick for Credo).  
__Phantom (Antagonist).  
__Griffon (Antagonist).  
__Arkham: (Main Antagonist).  
__Sanctus (Main Antagonist).__  
Nevan (Antagonist).  
__Beowulf (Antagonist).  
__Doppelganger (Antagonist).  
__Geyron (Antagonist).  
__Berial (Antagonist).  
__Nightmare (Antagonist).  
__Echidna (Antagonist).  
__Bael (Antagonist).  
__Master Chief (Cameo Appearance).  
__Ghost Rider, (really, really, really short cameo appearance)  
__Morgan Freeman (Really, really, really, really short cameo appearance)._

* * *

**Prologue:**

Lady: Have you ever heard the legend of Credo?

Trish: I have!

Lady: Yeah, I just told it to you! Anyway, it's about a person who takes on the demons in his afterlife.

Trish: Isn't it about a guy named Credo?

Lady: No, It's about a guy called Kadukadush!

Trish: Then why is it called 'The Legend of Credo'?

Lady: Okay, Trish just shut the fuck up please?

Trish: Alright, alright!!!

Lady: Anyway, he must do this task to go to Heaven as a sign of his redemption.

Trish: Hey, wait!

Lady: WHAT!?!!?!

Trish: Why does he have to kill the demons?

Lady: ….

(Lady cocks her gun, points at Trish and shoots but the screen goes black before it's seen)

Credo's voice: Do one last request.

(The scene changes to the bit where Credo falls down when he dies in Devil May Cry 4, then changes into where Credo continues falling on a red surface and with a black background which has a wall, that has two doors, one is blue, another is red. Two people come into view. One is the Grim Reaper, the other is an angel).

Grim Reaper: How pure is his soul?

Angel: Very. He tried to save his sister and his younger brother figure from a threat. That earns the man a ticket to Heaven.

Grim Reaper: You sure? He tried to kill his brother at a point of time.

Angel: No, he tried to arrest him, besides Sanctus corrupted his soul…

Grim Reaper: Well Hitler was corrupted but he's still in Hell.

Angel: But…!

Grim Reaper: Do you have a problem? (raises scythe).

Angel: ….Uhhhhh….No…..*whispers*Asshole

Grim Reaper: Right, so I claim him?

Angel: Fine. You should take this retard while you're at it. (Points at Agnus).

Grim Reaper: Fine. (Grabs Credo and Agnus and walks through the red door).

**

* * *

**

**Mission 1: The Beginning of a Legend.**

(Credo is lying on a red surface, He wakes up after grunting a few times, looks up and finds Agnus looking at him).

Angus: Hello.

(Credo stands up).

Credo: Wha…What happened?

Agnus: You're in Hell.

(Credo stares at Agnus)

Credo: Begyourpardon?

Agnus: You're in Hell.

Credo: Wh…Why? But I have the power of an…

(Looks at camera).

Credo continues:…Angel!

Agnus: I don't know, I'm not a ps- ps- ps- ps- psychic.

Credo: Is that a phone?(Points at a phone).

Agnus: No.

Credo: What is it?

Agnus: A f-f-f-f-phone, dumbass!

Credo: I'm going there.

(Credo and Agnus walks to the phone)

Agnus: What are you going to do? Calling for p-p-p-p-…

Credo: No, I'm not going to calling for pizza. I'm calling Heaven.

Agnus: Yeeesss. Pizza was exactly what I was going to say. Not any other word that starts with p and then an e and then….

Credo: Enough!!!! You're so irritating

(Picks up the phone and dials 555-0123)

Agnus: What makes you think that that is Heaven's phone number.

Credo: It was Gods phone number in Bruce Almighty.

Agnus: You're fucking k-k-k-k-kidding right?

Person on phone: Hello? This is God's office. How may I help you.

Credo: I'd like to know why I'm in Hell.

P.o.p: What is your name.

Credo: Credo.

P.o.p: Last name?

Credo: Uhhhhhhhhhhh…..I forgot.

P.o.p: You forgot your last name? *Whispers*Dumbass!

Credo: Well everyone else doesn't have a last name!

P.o.p:…Right. Okay I think this is your file. Credo Beholdyness. Hmmmmm, it says you tried to kill a young man?

Credo: What!? I didn't even get to touch him!!! Damn his Devil Satisfier…!

P.o.p: Devil Bringer.

Credo: Same thing!

P.o.p: Well yes that's why you are in Hell. However, Morgan Freeman is in a good mood so he said if you kill 9,000 demons then I give you the right to go to Heaven.

Agnus: Can I c-c-c-c-come?

P.o.p: Tell that stuttering piece of shit that he can come if he kills 5,000 demons.

Credo: What!? He's more eviler than me but has an easier task than me??!!!!

P.o.p: Well since you swore, you now have to kill 10,000 demons. Ha, ha, bitch!

Credo: I didn't swear!! Fine, I'm going anyway….(Hangs up phone)…time to kill this demons.

(Credo and Agnus walk into a demon bar, with demons drinking, having bar fights, etc).

Credo: Demons. Beware!!! I am the Captain of the Holy Knight's and I am here to slay you!

Scarecrow: …

Hell Sloth:…

Marionettes:…What's a Hole Night?

(The whole bar laughs).

Credo: How dare you laugh at me! Do you not know who I am!?!

Agnus: Great, now I'm not cool for hanging out with y-y-y-y-you!

Hell Sloth(Imitates Agnus in a mocking voice).

Agnus: That's it!!!! Let's kill these m-m-m-m-motherf….

Hell Sloth: (Imitates Agnus again)

Agnus: Stop it!!!

Credo: You've made a grave mistake laughing at me and my friend here…well actually you've made a mistake laughing at me!

Agnus: Hey!

Credo: Well you said it was uncool to hang out with me!

Agnus: That's it! (Agnus closes his eyes and windmill punches Credo)

Credo: Hey! Ow, stop it!!

Agnus: You dare oppose me boy!!!

Credo: THAT'S IT!!!(Credo punches Agnus off his feet and on his ass)

Agnus:…Sorry…!(Stands up).

Credo: Do not forget the real enemy here!(Point his sword to demons).

Mission 1 starts.

Mission 1 ends.

(A Hell Vanguard walks into the now completely wrecked bar).

HV: Wha…What the hell happened to my bar!?

Credo and Agnus pointing to each other: HE DID IT!

HV: (Goes insane).

Credo: Why is he making funny noises?(Refers to the weird noises that he makes when HV uses the Hell Gate move)

Agnus: I don't know but I love it. Finally, someone that talks even worse than m-m-m-m-me!

Boss Fight

Fight Ends

(HV cowers away)

Credo: Hah, flee if you must! Tell your demon brethren to fear the holiness of….Credo!!!!

HV: Dude, I'm going away, what more do you want? Can't you leave me with my dignity!?

Credo: …Please…!

HV: Okay, fine!!!

_Well that's the end. I made a next mission already, well actually two (because I'm so damn bored) so yeah. Feedback is very welcome. A newcomer would definitely need it._


	2. A Fiery Death

_Okay, here's then next chapter. Oh and I forgot my disclaimer:_

_I don't own Devil May Cry, only this story. Enjoy..._

* * *

**Mission 2: A Fiery Death.**

Lady narrating: But as Credo thinks that the Hell Vanguard was of no more use, he was....

Trish: CORRECT!!!!!

Lady:....

Trish: Why are you narrowing your eyes at me?

Lady: I have a headache...Okay just continue the damn story...

(HV walks up to Phantom).

HV: Phantom, a person is slaying everyone… a human….It was horrible(Bursts out crying and leans on Phantom's shoulder).

Phantom: It's okay, it's alright…

HV: And…And then…he destroyed my bar….

Phantom: That's horrible. I'll take care of this.

(Phantom sets of to fight Credo).

Mission 2 starts

Mission 2 ends

(Credo gets stabbed by a Hell Lust.)

Hell Lust: Ain't so tough.

(Credo gets up and punches the Hell Lust).

Hell Lust: Please…! Have mercy!!!!

Credo: Sorry. I'm all out of mercy.

(Credo stabs Hell Lust while he melts).

Agnus: That was s-s-s-s-stupid…

Credo: Sorry, just saw Ghost Rider.

(Points at Ghost Rider)

Ghost Rider: I like jelly beans!!!!(Eats jelly beans).

Agnus: What the f-f-f-f….

Ghost Rider: Where's Mephisto…?

Credo: I killed them.(Points at dead Mephistos)

Ghost Rider: Yay!!!(Eats more jelly beans and skips around like a little school girl).

Agnus: Isn't he supposed to be as badass as us?

Credo: Well he's the movie version Ghost Rider, and plus he's as badass as you…

Agnus: But he isn't badass.

Credo: Exactly.

Ghost Rider: You're just jealous that my head can be on fire!!!(Runs away crying)

Credo: See, he is as badass as you...

Agnus: Why you...(Begins to windmill punch but Credo just lifts his fist up, ready to punch and Agnus stops)...Just stretching my arms....

Credo: Okay just go...

* * *

_Short and sweet. I like it that way. Okay well not really but the next chapter will be longer...._


	3. Another Fiery Death

_Since these missions are pretty short(And the one before), I decided to add three missions each chapter._

**Mission 3: Another Fiery Death**

_Lady narrating: And as he defeated Phantom..._

_Trish: Okay..._

_Lady: ...Credo realized he needed to get to some random castle, to..._

_Trish: Okay..._

_Lady: Shut up..._

_Trish: Okay..._

_Lady: Shut up_

_Trish: Okay..._

_Lady: (cocks gun and a gun shot is heard), and he gets a few extra kills, that's it!_

(Credo and Agnus are walking to a huge castle).

Credo: I've killed about 1,000 demons.

Agnus: I've killed 4,999 demons.

Credo: What?!

(4 Frosts approach Credo).

Frost: You are the human that is killing demons, aren't you?

Credo: No I'm not!

Frost :But you almost like that except for that fake moustache you put on.

(Camera turns to Credo trying to jam his fake moustache above his lip)

Credo: What fake moustache?

(Credo stands up straight for a few seconds then the moustache falls off)

Credo: Oh fuc….

Frost: Get him!!!

(Frosts leap at him)

Mission 3 starts

Boss Fight Starts…

(Phantom approaches)

Phantom: Recess time is over!!!!

Credo: Who are you?

Phantom: I'm Phantom. Nice to meet you! (Reaches his tail out to shake 'hands').

Credo:(Slices Phantom in half before boss fight even starts).

Agnus: Well that was f-f-f-f-fair…

Credo: As fair as how you got to pick what type of ugly face you'd have.

(They engage arguing)

**Mission 4: The Fallen Savior**

_Lady: And as Credo fights these demons..._

_Trish: Okay...._

_Lady: Shut the fuck up(cocks gun again and another gun shot is heard)_

(A shadowy figure talks to a huge behemoth)

Figure 1: Yes, so he's planning to go to Heaven?

Figure 2: Yes, master.

Figure 1: Capture him!!!!

Figure 2: Yes. I will be loyal to you!!!(Fly's off).

(Another figure approaches.)

Figure 3: The one against the excrement Sparda, do you think he can do the job?

Figure 1: No. That's why you must go with him.

Figure 3: I will.

(Figure 3 jumps away. Then it goes back to Agnus and Credo. Credo is killing demons while Agnus is on the phone dialing for p-p-p-p….never mind.)

Credo: What are you doing?

Agnus: Well since I'm almost finished, I figured that I should have fun in Hell while you work your ass off.

Credo: No, what are you calling for?

Agnus: (Grins widely) For some p-p-p-p-pe…

Credo: Okay I get the point!

Mission starts

Boss Fight:

(Agnus sees Nevan and approaches).

Credo: Where are you going?

(Credo follows)

Agnus: Hello!

(Nevan turns around to reveal a huge 'whopper').

Credo: Oh my GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

Nevan: Hello boys….

Agnus: I'm in Heaven!!!! (Bends over and points to his behind) Now put it right in h-h-h-h….

Credo: Enough!!!!(Vomits as violent as that drunk actor in Team America: World Police or for people who haven't seen the movie, vomits over and over and over and….).

(Credo recovers to see Agnus and Nevan having 'fun'.)

Credo: Get your hands off my friend!!!(DT's and charges his shield at her…him….whatever it is!)

Nevan: Come on, sugar!

Boss Fight begins.

Boss Fight ends.

(Credo impales Nevan)

Nevan: It's been a while since I've been 'impaled'….

Credo: That's….inappropriate…

(Credo falls over and vomits again then recovers)

Credo: So....you going to die any time soon?

Nevan: Okay, I'll make sure it's orgasmic!

(Nevan turns into an electricity-powered…please don't make me say it!!!)…

Credo: What the hell!!!(Throws it away)…

(Agnus runs after it and picks it up)

Agnus: Oh, he didn't mean it!!!(Kisses it twice and puts it in his pocket)

Credo:….Okay…Let's just go…

**Mission 5: This is Spartan!**

_Lady still narrating: But as the enemies gather their enemies, a trained warrior will unite with Credo..._

_Trish: Is it Agnus?_

_Lady: Agnus....IS ALREADY FUCKING THERE!!!!!_

_Dante in the background: Jesus Christ, Lady keep it down there!_

_Lady: No you shut up! Where's my money!? You owe me my money!!!_

_(A few noises of Lady getting out of her seat, some really hard punches and Dante wailing in pain is heard)_

_Dante: I told you I'll get it soon!_

_Lady: Well I'm not paying for your pizza anymore. And you'll have to pay me....15 PERCENT INTEREST!!!_

_Dante: You did this last week!!! It's not fair!!!_

_Lady: Anyway, on with the story._

(Credo and Agnus walk when a guy runs over a few demons in a Warthog. He jumps out to reveal himself as Master Chief from Halo.)

Credo: What? You're not dead!

Master Chief: Well people keep making rumors that I died in Halo 3 so that counts for something.

Agnus: God dammit!!! I actually believed that a-a-a-a-arrogant kid!!!

Credo: Did you actually believe Nero? He doesn't even like Halo!

Master Chief: What?

Credo: No! What I meant to say was that he doesn't like the Halo thing itself.

Master Chief: Okay. So can you help me? I need to kill demons.

Credo: Yeah sure but why are you in Hell.

Master Chief: I actually paid Guilty Spark to kill Johnson. Stupid guy keeps on interrupting my kills. Do you know how hard it is to get Achievements?!

(Johnson appears behind him)

Johnson: Awww, HELL NO!!!! I thought we were boys, ever since we destroyed dat gahd damn hoola-hoop(His word for Halo).

(Johnson walks away, with head down).

Credo: Yeah....

Master Chief:...That was awkward.....

Mission Starts

Mission Ends

(The same two huge demons are seen again with two others, one is the Hell Vanguard while the other can only be seen from his silhouette)

Hell Vanguard: He killed Phantom and Nevan. Now he's joined up with Master Chief.

Figure 3: That excrement will pay!!!

HV: Could you stop talking about poo?

Figure 2: Come with us.

Figure 4: Well, it's been a week since I fought a human with such power.

Figure 3: Wanna make it another week?

Figure 4: You son of a bitch!!!(Goes to hit Figure 3 but Figure 2 stops him).

Figure 2: Do you not remember who we are against? Save your energy. You'll need it! We must go!

(Figure 2 and 3 fly off while Figure 4 tries to jump)

* * *

_Yeah, I made it a bit long but, meh....._


	4. Seeds of Echidna

_Sorry that this took a while. Just had some other shit on my mind. Anyway I decided to only do two chapter so I won't run out of ideas so quickly._

**Mission 6: Seeds of Echidna**

_Lady:__ And after hard work, Master Chief finally got 5000 kills, so he could go to Heaven._

_Nero: Are you guys talking about Halo again? Jesus Christ, it's a crap game!_

_Lady: Stop interrupting my narration audio for fuck sake!!!_

_Nero: Halo's a gay game! Halo's a gay game! Halo's a gay game! Halo's a gay game!_

_Lady: (Cocks gun and a gun shot is heard)._

_(A loud 'thud' is heard)_

_Kyrie: OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED NERO!!!_

_Lady: What? He's a demon..._

_Kyrie: No he only has a devil hand, dumbass!_

_Lady:...Oh…_

_Trish: I'm going to make a sandwich..._

_(Awkward silence)_

_Kyrie: Meh, who cares? Vergil seems to look a bit like Nero…_

_Vergil: Not interested…_

_Kyrie: Shit! What about Dante?_

_Dante: I'm still scared of women because of Lady…_

_Lady: Stop whining you crybaby and where's my fucking money!!! _

_Dante: Oh shit__…_

_(A few rocket launcher blasts are heard)_

_Lady: I want it by tomorrow!! Okay, anyway Master Chief goes to Heaven…_

(Master Chief kills one last demon and flies to Heaven, while other demons surround Credo and Agnus)

Master Chief: I'll see you guys up there.

(Credo and Agnus wave goodbye)

Credo: Say hi to my mother and father up there for me!

Agnus: And say hi to both my f-f-f-f-fathers up there for me!

(Everyone stops and looks at Agnus)

Agnus:…What?

Credo: You're one messed up p-p-p-p-person….

(Credo charges to battle).

Agnus: What? Was it my breath?

(Agnus charges to battle)

Master Chief: (As he ascends) Now how am I supposed to plot against Nero for hating Halo?

Mission Starts

Boss battle.

(Credo and Agnus walk into a small coliseum. Echidna flies at Credo and shoots the seeds at him)

Echidna: Try some seeds on for size!!!

(Credo and Agnus look at each other and look back)

Credo: It was not cool the first time you said it and it's less cooler the second time you say it.

Echidna: Sorry. Dante keeps taking the cool things to say.

Credo: Well he also said 'I should have been the one to fill your dark soul with LLLLLLIIIIIIGGGGHTTTTTT!!!'.

Agnus: Shut up, that was the most epic line evar!!!

Echidna: Who's this retard?

Credo: Hmph, that's the second time you were called a retard.

Agnus: I don't suppose you would have a gigantic p-p-p-p-p…..

Credo: Stop!!! Just wait here while I kill her.

Agnus: Fine…

Echidna: Well to answer his question, I do in fact have a….

(Then suddenly it shows demonic birds flying away gawking and a bunch of Hell Sloth's, Scarecrow's and a Marionette looking at the small building).

Scarecrow: Did she say what I think she said?

Hell Sloth:….Ummmm….Yep….

Scarecrow 2: How anti-climatic…

Hell Sloth 2: And to think I thought of her as a total hottie!!!

Scarecrow 3: Don't you mean 'And to think I thought of him as a total hottie!!!'?

Hell Sloth 3: Meh, I knew it all along.

Marionette: Is she a Hole Night?

(Then the picture goes back to Credo and Echidna. Credo is blocking his ears and screaming 'La, la, la, la, la….!' And Echidna is talking about her/his special organ).

Echidna:….and it's 12 inches thick and…..

Credo: Silence!!!! It is time we fight! (DT's and draws sword).

Boss Ending

(Credo smashes his sword into Echidna and throws her down)

Echidna: It's been a while since I've been…

Credo: *Thinks*…Please don't say it, please don't say it!

(Credo slams her head with his shield-wing whatever and stabs her mouth with his sword)

Echidna: 'Impaled'...

(Agnus gets aroused).

Credo: Agnus, what the hell is this! (Points at his enlarged genital).

Agnus: Shut up, you weirdo!

Credo: Weirdo? At least I'm not a que…

Agnus: Shut your mouth! My dads said to be whoever you wanna be.(Runs off, crying. Credo follows).

Mission 7: The Forgotten Tower

_Lady: As Credo followed Agnus who__ was crying like a little baby…_

_Dante: Have you heard the 'Legend of Nero'?_

_Lady: What the fuck are you doing Dante?_

_Dante__: Well since Nero is dead, I'm narrating his own fanfic…_

_Lady: You're just trying to piss me off._

_Dante: Yes, I am…_

_Lady: …Screw you…_

_Dante: You could do that for me…_

_Lady: Okay, now back to the story…_

_Dante: Shut up, Lady. I'm trying to narrate a story._

_Lady: Don't make me get my rocket launcher!_

_Dante: NO!!!_

_Lady: Stop crossing your arms and facing the other way like a little child!_

_Dante: NO!!!_

_Lady: That's it!!!_

_(A voice similar to Supernanny is heard)_

_Supernanny: Violence is not the answer, Mary!!!_

_Lady: Shut the fuck up!!!_

_(Rocket blasts are heard)_

_Dante: Did you just kill Supernanny?_

_Lady: Meh, you can thank me later..._

(Agnus runs to a huge ruin that looks like a broken tower…The Temen-Ni-Gru!)

Credo: What is this?

Agnus: It's a tower…

Credo: No shit, Sherlock.

Agnus: But you asked me what it was!

Credo: Yeah, just shut up…

(Demons jump out of the rubble of the ruins, Credo arms himself and Agnus sits down)

Credo: Now, beware…Of the power of an Angel!!!

Agnus: Yeah, you should also add a theme song and an American flag in the background, because you cannot get any ch-ch-ch-cheesier…

Credo: Shut up…

Agnus: No! (Crosses arms and faces the other way like a five year old)

Credo: Hey, if you don't, you're going to bed without dessert…

Agnus: What bed? What dessert?

Credo: That's it! Go to the naughty corner!!!

Agnus: NO! (Breaks down in tears and sits down like a little kid)

(Supernanny appears out of nowhere)

Supernanny: Good Credo. Now little Agnus knows that you wear the pants in this relationship. Now send him to the naughty corner for ten minutes…

(Meanwhile, the demons stare at each other thinking 'What the fuck')

Demon: Enough! Are you going to fight or not!?

Agnus: NO! (Crosses arms again and faces other way like a five year old)

Credo: Where are your manners? Your mother would be so disappointed!

Agnus: I have two dads ya noob!

Supernanny: Now that is no way to talk to Credo!

Credo: Okay whatever, I'll just fight!

Mission Starts

Boss Battle

(Geyron runs in).

Credo: Demonic horse? What's next, a three-headed-dog?

(Cerberus walks in to battle Credo but walks out when Credo says three-headed-dog).

(Geyron makes horse noises)

Battle Begins

Battle Ends

(Credo rams his shield into Geyron, Geyron falls down and wails in pain).

Credo: Repent your sins!!!!

Geyron: No!!!(Crosses front legs and faces the other way like a five year old)

Credo: Supernanny, we have another naughty one.

(Demons sitting in naughty corner with Agnus laugh)

Demon: You're in trouble!

Supernanny: Three more minutes in the naughty corner!

(Demons moan in pain)

Geyron: I'm never going to the naughty corner!!!

Credo: Shut the fuck up! (Slices Geyron in half)

_Well there it is...I'll be back soon. Review if it was good!_


	5. Enemies Unite

_Hi, guys. I'm in a rush so I'll keep this quick..._

**Mission 8: Enemies Unite.**

_Lady: Yeah, now there's just more fucking evil figures talking…_

_Dante: Shut up! I'm narrating a story here!_

_Lady: YOU HAVEN'T EVEN SAID A FUCKING WORD THE LAST HALF HOUR!!!!_

_Dante: Anyway, have you heard the 'Legend of Supernanny'?_

_Lady: What the fuck!_

_Dante: She was also killed by the same woman that…_

_(Rocket launcher blasts are heard)_

_Dante: Sorry…_

(The first figure talks to another figure)

Figure 1: What is their status?

Figure 5: Beowulf and Berial are arguing more than ever. Griffon is behaving well.

Figure 1: Well it seems as though that Bael wants to steal their glory. Make sure you kill him and his brothers.

Figure 5:Yes.

(The figures come out pf the darkness and reveal that they are Sanctus and Arkham.)

Arkham and Sanctus: (Puts flashlights under their faces. Stares at camera.) Muahahahaha…Muahahahahahahaha….MUAHAHAHAHAHA(chokes and coughs)…

Cerberus: Dude, that was crap….

Arkham: Yeah, well we blew our budget on hiring these demons so we couldn't afford proper visual effects.

Cerberus: Blew what budget?

Sanctus: You're asking too many questions….NOW DIE!!!!(Flashes flashlight at him, as Cerberus stares blankly)

Cerberus: Okay, I'm out of here….

(Meanwhile Credo and Agnus listen to the weird noises in The Lair of Judgment)

Credo: What was that noise?

Agnus: That was the laugh of S-s-s-s-s….

Credo: S-s-s-s-s-spit it out!

Agnus: Sanctus!

(Silence for a few seconds).

Credo: Just wait here while I take care of someone. (Starts to walk)

(Demons start to jump out of the rubble in The Lair of Judgment).

(Credo clutches his sword)

Credo: Hmph, (Unsheathes sword) looks like I'll have obstructions in the way.

Boss Battle.

(More and more demons keep running out of the rubble, Credo is in the middle, surrounded, when suddenly everyone's shadows disappear. It all goes to one side of the room, then the shadows assemble itself as the group of demons and two of them were Agnus and Credo, the real demons step back in fear while the shadow demons battle).

Credo: What's this?

Agnus: That arrogant kid possesses d-d-d-d-demonic POWA!!!

(Credo looks at Agnus, confused).

Agnus: ….Sorry….

(Shadow Credo points his sword at Credo, taunting him)

Credo: (Unsheathes sword) Do not underestimate me!!!(Points his sword diagonally towards Shadow Credo).

Shadow Credo: You don't underestimate me!

Credo: But I am you.

Shadow Credo: No, I am you.

(Credo and Shadow Credo babble on and on while Agnus watches on. Then suddenly, Agnus begins to get 'excited' from the two Credos talking).

Both Credos: What the hell is this! (Both points at his enlarged genital).

Agnus: Uhhhhh…too many Credos excite me!

Credo: Then I'll eliminate the other Credo. (Charges to battle).

Then after time…

Credo: This is harder than I thought.

(Suddenly Bael and Dagon appear out of nowhere)

Credo: What is this! I cannot defeat all of you!

Agnus: I'll help you, I'll just make sure you finish all enemies off.

Bael: Me and my brother has lost hundreds brothers from this 'Doppelganger'! I take no side other than my brothers.

Dagon: We make a fierce team.

Credo: Hundreds? Well your mother sure was a slut.

Agnus: Would your mother happen to have a gigantic p….

Credo: Shut it!

Bael: Well to answer your question…

Credo: Shut it!

Dagon: Are you guys talking about our mother's gigantic…

Credo: SHUT IT!

Agnus, Dagon and Bael: Sorry…

(Suddenly Bael and Dagons shadows change into clones of themselves).

Credo: Let's do this.

Boss Ending

(Credo finishes the Doppelganger with a Streak-like move, all the shadow enemies start to break down. Dagon and Bael leap at Credo, but Credo teleports behind them and strikes Bael with a fatal light projectile)

Dagon: Noooo!!!!!

Credo: Behold the power of a crybaby!!! (Points sword at Dagon).

Dagon: You think this is FUNNY!!!?!?!

Credo: Yes, clever detective. And tomorrow's lesson will feature the Alphabet….

(Credo leaps up in the air and slams his sword into Dagon, proving fatal)

Dagon: When you die, I'll be waiting for you in Hell!!!

Credo: You idiot! Where do you think we are!?

Dagon: Froggy Land?

Agnus: DO US LOKO LIKE FROGOS!?!?!?!?!?

Credo: That's not in the script…

Agnus: Enough is enough!!! I'm sick of these god damn script makers on this god damn plane!!!!

Credo: We're not on a plane

Agnus: Who the **** came up with Froggy Heaven.

Director: What the hell is this! Jimmy, stick with the damn script

Agnus: Your scripts suck ****!!! 'Try some seeds on for size'? 'TRY SOME SEEDS ON FOR SIZE!!!'? YOU HAVE GAHT TO BE ****IN KIDDIN ME!!!

Credo: Dude, calm down…

Agnus: **** YOU!!! EAT ****!!! YOU'RE NOT THE ****ING MAN THAT PLAYS AS A ****ING GAY RETARD!! I ****ING QUIT!!!!

Dagon: Does this mean I'm not saying my last line? It took me a while to get used to it.

Agnus: SHUT THE **** UP!!!! IT WAS PROBABLY ****ING **** ANYWAY!!!!

(The screen displays a 'Please Stand By' view for a few seconds.)

Credo: Okay let's go, Agnus do you have anything you want to say.

Agnus: Yes, I do…

(Agnus turns to camera)

Agnus: Well for any sins I have made in the past, in the distant and sometimes close past, I would like it to be forgiven, especially I'd like…

Credo: Okay, let's go.

Dagon: Wait! I didn't say my last line!

Credo: Okay, go…

Dagon: Goodbye Froggy Land…

Credo: Damn…Our script does suck shit…

**Mission 9: Heartwarming Family Reunion.**

_Lady: God dammit, Jimmy should stick to the script._

_Dante: Hey, Lady!_

_Lady: WHAT!?!_

_Dante: I've got a job…_

_Lady: No, I don't want to go! Ask Nero!_

_Dante: Yeah sure! Hey Nero, ya wanna do a job? Yeah, sure but there's one problem. There's a fucking bullet lodged in my brain!_

_Lady: Vergil!_

_Vergil: Not interested. _

_Lady: Okay, Credo is ordering pizza now!_

_Dante: For me?_

_Lady: IN THE GOD DAMN STORY!!!_

_Dante: Am I in the story?_

_Lady: Would you like to be? (Cocks gun)_

_Dante: …No…_

(Credo is talking on a phone on the top of Temen-Ni-Gru).

Credo: So that will be two Meat Lovers, one Cheese Lovers, one Hawaiian and….

Agnus: Wait, I wanted a gigantic….

(Suddenly, 2 Shadows appear out of the ground).

Shadow 1: Meow!

Shadow 2: My friend suspects that you are the demon hunters.

Credo: Yes.

(Long silence for about half a minute)

Credo: ….Soooooo….

Shadow 1: Meow!

Shadow 2: Meow! (To Credo)Sorry, my friend….

Agnus: …Needs to learn to speak p-p-p-p-properly…

Shadow 2: So do you, loser…

Agnus:…FOR **** SAKE!!!! EVEN THE ****ING STUPID PUSSY CAT PWNS ME IN A ****ING ARGUMENT!!!!!

Director: For **** sake Jimmy don't start this again!!!!

Agnus: Sorry…(Faces the floor).

Shadow 1: Meow!

Shadow 2: My friend says you're friend's a dumbass and he wants to battle.

Boss Battle

(Credo shoots a spear at a Shadow and slams his sword into him, then suddenly he notices a blackish mark on the floor.)

Credo: What's that?

Agnus: I don't know, I'm not a s-s-s-s-psychic!

Credo: Yeah well at least you stutter like a re-re-re-re-

Agnus: LEAVE MY STUTTERING PROBLEM ALONE!!!!

(Suddenly, the mark starts to morph into a huge monster thing, the Nightmare!)

Agnus: Hey look, it's my brother!

Credo: Is this a joke?

Agnus: Wait, no. My brother wears glasses like mine.

Credo: Monocles.

(Out of nowhere a monocle falls out of the sky and drop onto Nightmare's body)

Agnus: BRUVER!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!(Runs to hug Nightmare)

(Nightmare uses his ice beam move).

Frozen Agnus in a distorted voice: Bruver?

Credo: Fear not! I will save damsel in distress!!!

Frozen Agnus: You bitc…!

(Nightmare smacks his Boomerang thing into Agnus).

Frozen Agnus: Oh now come o-o-o-o-on!!!

Credo: Alright, let us battle!

Battle Ends

(Credo slams his sword into the core of Nightmare. Nightmare then melts.)

Nightmare: (In deep voice)NOOOOOO!!! IIII'M MEEEEEELLLLLLTTTTTTTTIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!!!! I'LL GET YOU JAMES BOND!!!!

Credo: Uh huh, what the hell was that about?

James Bond: The name's Bond…James Bond…

Credo: Hello Bond James Bond

James Bond: No it's just James Bond

Credo: Then why say 'Bond James Bond'?

James Bond: Because…Well…I think…Just ask the script writers…

Frozen Agnus: You have shit script writers too?

(The 'Please Stand By' display is shown for five seconds and after Agnus is still frozen but is lying on the floor)

Agnus: Ow, man that kick hurt like a bitch…But of course Credo kicked me, not any producers, why would any producers be in Hell…?

(Long silence, about 20 seconds but Agnus is still frozen).

Frozen Agnus: WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING!!!?!?

Credo: How should I know?

Frozen Agnus: IS THERE SOMETHING MISSING!!!?!?

Credo: Your brain?

Frozen Agnus: MUST MORE BLOOD BE SHED?!!?!!(Stares coldly at Credo)

(Long, awkward silence)

Credo: You know what, I have a few things to do so just wait here and I'll come back for you…(walks away slowly but then begins to accelerate and starts to scream).

Agnus: Wait don't leave me here! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

Director: Okay now that's a wrap! Okay now everyone go home.

Agnus' Actor: Sweet…..!

(Everyone starts to leave)

Agnus' Actor: Ummmm…someone?

(Everyone ignores Agnus)

Agnus' Actor: Someone!

(Everyone leaves)

Agnus' Actor: Wait don't leave me here! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

(Silence)

Agnus' Actor: I shouldn't have gotten crazy about the script.

Mission 9 ends

_Well that's it. I'll be back..._


	6. The Three Amigos

_Hey guys. I'm running out of ideas (And bosses) so this is going to be one of the last chapters so I'll try to make them really long._

* * *

**Mission 10: The Three Amigos**

_Lady: And as Credo walks..._

_(A loud crash is heard)_

_Dante: Sorry about that…_

_Lady: Why the hell did you crash my motorcycle into this place!?_

_Dante: Just finished my job…_

_Lady: And that means you can total my motorcycle how?_

_Dante: I wanted money for pizzas…_

_Trish: But I have sandwiches!_

_Dante: And they're shit so what's your point?_

_Lady: You still owe me money! One day, I'm going to hire someone to kill you for this! Now sounds good._

_Dante: Yeah, right!_

_Lady: Vergil!_

_Vergil: Not interested…Wait, no!_

_Lady: Too late! Nero!_

_(A long silence is followed)_

_Lady: Oh, right…Trish!_

_Trish: Do you want your sandwiches now?_

_Lady: No, I don't want your fucking shit sandwiches! Do you want to kill Dante?_

_Trish: Depends…Dante, do you want your sandwiches?_

_Dante: No one does…_

_Trish: Then I'll kill him._

_Dante: Wait! I'll have your sandwich…_

_Trish: Yay! _

_Lady: Oh for fuck sake!_

_Dante: Mmmmm…Delicious, I always wanted a green thing in my sandwich…_

_Trish: That's the cheese…_

_(Dante is heard spitting his food)_

_Lady: You spat green stuff all over me! That is IT!_

Credo: Finally, just me, myself and I! Agnus was really annoying!

(Suddenly the Doppelganger returns in the form of Agnus.)

Agnus: Ohhhhh! I am the spirit of Agnus!!! And I have come for my revenge!!!!!

Credo: I know it's you Doppelganger!

Agnus: Awww man! Just ruin the fun then!

Credo: What do you want?

Agnus: To take Agnus's place. Seriously, I've been so bored in Hell.

Credo: Fine. Just don't steal my kills like he does. And don't be as 'sexually dysfunctional' as him.

Agnus: Oh yay!!! We're going to have so much fun!!! First we're going to kill demons, then have a sleepover and then kill more demons and then have a pillow-fight….!!!

Credo: Hey! What part of 'sexually dysfunctional' do you not understand?

Agnus:…And then we'll kill more demons and then paint our nails and then kill…

Credo: Ya know what? Never mind, I don't give a shit anymore…

(Credo begins to walk with Shadow Agnus following closely still talking).

(Out of nowhere, a group of Blanco Angelo's and an Alto Angelo appear)

Credo: Knights! Yes! Now as your captain, I order you to destroy Agnus!

Agnus: But what about our slumber party?

Alto Angelo: ROBOT ERROR. AGNUS PROTOCOL 907: CANNOT ELIMINATE OUR CREATOR. MUST DESTROY CREDO.

Credo: Wat?

Agnus: Funny. I forgot Agnus created these things…

(Angelo's start to move like robots toward Credo, chanting 'Destroy All Credo's')

Credo: Great. I'm surrounded by retarded robots...

Agnus: Anyway, and then we'll talk about boys and kill some demons…

Mission Starts.

Boss Fight

(Credo kills one last demon with a slash while Agnus is still talking).

Agnus:…And then we can watch chick flicks and then kill more demons and then we go to sleep!

Credo: Finally!!! I was beginning to consider whether you'd shut up or not!!!

Agnus: And then when we wake up….!

Credo: Oh for fuck sake!

(Then suddenly a giant bird named Griffon, a huge angelic beast called Beowulf and a…just a fugly walking piece of shit referred as Berial jump down and approaches Credo).

Griffon: We have come for your head, Credo!

Credo: Well if you do take my head, please don't take his! I'd hate to see him where ever we go from here.

Beowulf: I heard you go to Froggy Land when you die in your afterlife-death. That frog guy kept talking about it.

Berial: Since when did you start listening to retards instead of talking like one?

Beowulf: Since I started listening to you!!!

Berial: You're mine, bitch!!!(Jumps at Beowulf).

(Berial and Beowulf fight)…

Griffon:…Guys?

(Berial puts Beowulf in an ankle lock)

Griffon:….GUYS!!?!?

(Beowulf turns the tables and bites Berial on the hand)

Griffon: Great, I always have to take care of business.

Agnus: Anyway, we'll eat loads of ice-cream and…

Credo: And, and after that we'll go home! Yeah, yeah, that sounds like a great idea!

Agnus: Nah, I'd rather…

Griffon: Shut up and fight me! I brought my sister here to watch!

Lucia in Devil Trigger: I'm not your sister!

Griffon: Then why do you look like a chicken?

Lucia: I'm not a chicken! (Runs off)

Credo: Funny. She's not a chicken but runs away like one…

Battle Ends

(Beowulf and Berial are lying on the floor, unconscious and weakened. Credo rams his shield into Griffon and then finishes him with a stab, meanwhile, Agnus is in cheerleading uniform cheering for Credo).

Griffon: It's been a while since I've been…

Credo: *Thinks* What the fuck? Is he actually going to say it?

(The camera then goes back to the same Hell Sloth's and Scarecrows with the same dumbass Marionette that keeps asking what a 'Hole Night' is and Nightmare).

Hell Sloth 1: Okay now this is getting fucking weird!!!

Hell Sloth 2: Oh yeah, well look at that guy in cheerleading uniform! (Points at Agnus)

(Hiro from Heroes appear)

Hiro: Wait, that's not the cheerleader?

Nightmare: James Bond is gay.

Hiro: Ewwwww…

Scarecrow 2: Let's get out of here!!!

Marionette: Seriously, what's a Hole Night?

(The demons and Hiro all run like headless chickens except for the Marionette who still wonders what a 'Hole Night' is)

(The camera returns to Credo. He throws Griffons body off his sword.)

Credo: So, I've killed then required amount so now I need to wait.

A voice: We meet again!

(Credo turns around to see Sanctus)

Credo: I have you right you right where I want you!

Another voice: No you don't!!!

(Credo turns again to find Arkham)

Arkham: Nice to meet you!

Mission Ends

* * *

_Yes, I know. One mission. But at least I tried to extend them. Anyway the last **important** chapter is coming next, which means there could be an Epilogue chapter._

_See ya guys later..._


	7. The conclusion of a Legend

_I know what you're thinking. If I finished both of the last missions on the same day, then why bother make their own chapters? Well...The answer is packed away secretly in a cereal box..._

**Mission 11: The Conclusion of a Legend.**

_Dante: Well, did you find someone suitable enough to kill me?_

_Lady: (Laughs evily)..._

_Dante: I'll take that as a yes..._

_Lady: Stewie!_

_(Stewie from Family Guy is heard)_

_Stewie: Where the money?_

_Dante: You got a garden gnome to kill me?_

_(A few loud crashes are heard)_

_Dante: Ahhh! Fuck!! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!_

_Stewie: Where's the money? Where's the money?_

_Lady: Ahhhh...Anyway, onto the story..._

Arkham: This is the place you will die at!

Credo: Who is this baldy?

Sanctus: Arkham. He is my partner…

Credo: ..In crime?

Arkham: No, we're married (makes kissing noises at Sanctus).

Credo: For Christ sake!!!

Agnus: Awwww, how adorable!

Sanctus: We have plans of taking over the Demon World.

Credo: Why not just say Hell!? It's just one damn syllable! Anyway what plans do you have when you do take over Hell?

Arkham: I plan to betray him.

Sanctus: Really? I was going to do the same too!

Arkham: Really?

Sanctus: Yes!

Arkham: Oh we have so much in common!(Air kisses Sanctus and Sanctus pretends to catch something in the air and puts hand in his pocket).

Credo: Enough! Why are the people here that are so sexually active have to possess the same genitals as mine!?

Sanctus: Okay then, let's fight!

Boss battle begins

One of those annoying twists where the battle is interrupted and changed.

(Arkham is huffing and puffing.)

Arkham: You think you're badass but you're not!!! Cerberus! I command you to defeat Credo for me.

(A port-a-loo with Cerberus in it is seen)

Cerberus: Alright, but only if you won't flash your torch at me again!

(Cerberus comes out wiping his ass)

Sanctus: Muahahahaha! We are invincible!!!

Credo: No. No you are not. You're only hiding behind a pile of trash you think is invincible…

Cerberus: Pile of …!? I'll have you know that Nightmare looks nothing like me!

(Shoots ice out of his mouth)

Battle continues

Another god damn twist where the battle is interrupted and changed.

(Credo is actually getting man handled by Cerberus but Arkham and Sanctus are telling him to work harder)

Sanctus: C'mon! My grandmother can beat his ass faster than you!

(An old lady that wears hip-hop gangster clothes and has really wrinkly skin appears)

Old Lady: Damn straight, I can beat his ass!

(Grandma Sanctus whips out Agni and Rudra and slams Credo to the floor)

Agni: Impressive…

Grandma Sanctus: Got that right, bitch!

Cerberus: Piss off! This is my kill!!!

Arkham: Cerberus, I command you to stand down! (Flickers flashlight at him again)

Cerberus: …Alright, I'll go then….(Runs away, crying)

Agnus: Yeah, that's right! Run away from Credo, little bitch!

Cerberus: What did you say Doppelfaggot!?

Agnus: Oh HELL NO!!!

(Cerberus and Agnus battle)

Grandma Sanctus: Ready, mofo? Cuz I'm liek 50 Cent. I can survive five bullets in the head!

Credo: What a load of bullshit!

Grandma Sanctus: It ain't bullshit!

(A blue-ish figure is seen holding a double barreled revolver)

Nero: Yo guys! Anybody got chicks here?

Credo: Great. Nero's here…

Arkham: What's wrong with that?

Credo: Well, initially he acts like an obnoxious gangster jerk but around girls, he pretends to be a sensitive, loving, gentleman just so he can get laid. Perhaps that's why he's in Hell.

Nero: Anything to get the pussy, dawg...

(The story pauses during a chapter for the first time)

_Kyrie: So do you expect me to believe that Nero is not the caring person I think he is?_

_Lady: I expect you to shut the fuck up and listen to the fucking story!_

_Kyrie: Or what?_

_(A gunshot is heard)_

_Trish: What was that about? Were you guys arguing about my delicious sandwiches?_

_Dante: The sandwiches you buy at Jill's Sandwiches?_

_Lady: Shut up, I want to continue the story!_

_Trish: Are you trying to say my cooking is bad?_

_Dante: Depends whether you cook your sandwiches…_

_Lady: Anyway…_

_Trish: Have you heard the 'Legend of Kyrie'?_

_Lady: For fuck sake! Stewie, shut them both up!_

_Dante: WAIT...! No need for that..._

_Lady: Well then, let's continue..._

(The story resumes with Kyrie behind Nero)

Nero: …Yeah, cause I fucked yo sister. Tapped dat virgin ass and…

(Kyrie coughs out a loud 'Ahem')

Nero: …Well, I was very privileged to do so. I love her (Turns around).

Kyrie: I can't believe I died defending a jerk!

Nero: Damn yo, why you gatta be hating on me?

Grandma Sanctus: Are you going to fight me, bitch!?

Nero: Shut the fuck up, you cross between ET and 50 Cent!

Grandma Sanctus: Yo bitch, I'll personally kick yo ass to the Planet of the Apes so you can tell yo family that you gonna die, motherfucker!

(Nero and Grandma Sanctus fight)

Credo: Meh, could have sworn she was going to fight me…

(Battle continues)

Boss Battle ends.

(Sanctus and Arkham are on the floor, bleeding)

Sanctus: I want you to know Arkham that I lo….

(Credo stabs Sanctus)

Arkham: You…YOU MONSTER!!!!

(Arkham gets up and starts to windmill punch Credo)

Credo: Sto…Stop it!

Arkham: No…!!!NEVWAH!!!

Credo: Oh for fuck sake.

(Credo punches Arkham in the face and made him land on his ass)…

Arkham:…Sorry…

(Then Arkham continues to dwell of his bleeding stomach)

Credo: Any last words?(Points sword at Arkham)

Arkham: Uhhhhh, not really…

Credo: Okay then. (Goes to strike at Arkham)

Arkham: Wait! (Credo stops). I have something to say….

(Silence for 20 seconds).

Credo: Are you going to say it?

Arkham: Say what?

Credo: Fucking hell!

Arkham: Fucking hell.

(Credo goes to stab Arkham)

Arkham: Wait! (Credo waits). Aren't you going to ask if I have any last words?

(Credo glares at Arkham and breathes loudly. A moment later he slices at Arkham).

Arkham: I HAV DA TRU POWA OV SUPATA!!!!

Credo:…Retard doesn't even have demonic powers anymore! Whose idea was it to make this boss fight with two humans with no powers?

Director: Don't make us freeze you like Jimmy!

(A Marionette walks along.)

Marionette: Can I be a Hole Night?

(Credo runs up to kill him. Suddenly the real Agnus jumps from the sky light and screams)

Agnus: AHHHH!!!!! THE ICE HURTS!!!! HELP!!!!!!

(He falls on the Marionette and kills him).

Agnus: Ahhh! That's better…!

Credo: Okay let's go!

Shadow Agnus: Goodbye!!! I loved the sleepover.

(Agnus looks at Credo)

Credo: Trust me. He's even more homosexual than you.

Agnus: Ohhhhh, I like him!

(Agnus and Credo start to ascend).

_Lady: What happened next? Nothing really…_

(Shows Lady in Devil May Cry)

Trish: Wait, didn't Credo go to Heaven?

(Zooms out and shows Trish with a bandage around her head with a red stain round her forehead, holding what looks like a green sandwich).

Lady: Yes…

Trish: Then why say nothing happened.

Lady: (Sighs loudly)… Okay just roll the damn credits…..

(Credits roll)

_And that is the end of the Credo saga. If you liked it, I could make a sequel and a Nero Show spin off version. Anyway, there is just one last chapter left although this is finished. I'm thinking of making it a musical. What do you guys think? _


	8. Teh Epilogue

_Hey guys!__ Have you found the 'extra coolies cereal box!!'? No? Anyway, sadly, 'Teh Credo Show' has come to the end of its fanfic road. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it and would read any other sequels or spin-offs about this. Anyway, here is the end…_

Epilogue Ver.2.0: The End?

_Lady: No one told me about an extra chapter! I better get paid extra for this!_

_Trish: If you want, I'll give you sandwiches for your hard work…_

_(Dante laughs)_

_Lady: Stewie! Dante's being mean to me!!!_

_Stewie: Where's the money?_

_(A few crashing sounds and a cat screaming in pain are heard)_

_Dante: Leave me alone you little garden gnome!!!_

_Lady: Okay. So where's my script?_

_Director: What script? You're supposed to make all this shit up!_

_Lady: Wait, wat? Then why does Trish give me a new script every episode, claiming it's from you?I would have thought of a story way better than this!_

_Director: Yeah whatever, you're fired. Trish, you're the new narrator._

_Lady: WHAT!?!?! BUT HER STORY IS A PIECE OF SHIT!!!_

_Trish: Whatever, Mary. My talent has been discovered and you're just jealous…._

_Lady: Gahd damn it!!!! Stewie, kick her two dollar hooker ass!!!!_

_Stewie: Sorry, but I only work the narrator. Ha, ha, sucker! I'm not sorry!_

_Lady: This is madness!_

_(Master Chief randomly comes down from heaven)_

_Master Chief: THIS IS SPARTA!!!_

_(Lady gets kicked down a bottomless pit of death while a voice says 'Killing Spree!' in a very catchy way)_

_Dante: Thanks Chief._

_Master Chief: Don't mention it._

_Trish: Anyway, onto the story, Credo and Agnus are now up in Heaven, enjoying their time in a heavenly strip club. Well Credo is…_

(Credo and Agnus are sitting on a large table with two chicks dancing on it. Credo's eyes are widened while Agnus has his eyes covered with her hands.)

Agnus: EWWWWWWYYYY!!!! Those are boobies!!!!!

Credo: Shut up!

Agnus: Hey, so do you have any idea why Kyrie would be in Hell?

Credo still looking at the strippers: Hot lesbian sex…

Agnus: Hello? Are you listening?

Credo: What?!

Agnus: Why would Kyrie be in Hell?

Credo: What! We must save her…then again, I like it here…

Agnus: But you have to!

Credo: You just wanna go back because there are gay people there!

Agnus: Yeah, but there are other reasons too!

Credo: Like?

Agnus: Uhhh…I heard the weather is nice this time of the year?

Credo: What? Scorching hot and raining with fire?

Agnus: How did you know the weather would be like that?

Credo: Because it's always like that!

Agnus: You talk as if you've already been there!

Credo: Because I have! Do you have the memory span of a goldfish penis?!

Agnus: Fine! Be like that! I'll go there by myself!

Credo: Go ahead…

Agnus: And you'll have no more friends!

Credo: You're not my 'friend'!

Agnus: Acquaintance?

Credo: Lower…

Agnus: Annoying guy that hangs out with you?

Credo: That's Nero…

Agnus: Little boy that looks up to you as a role model?

Credo: A bit lower…

Agnus: Nobody?

Credo: Yes…

Agnus: Right then. And you'll have no more nobodies!

Credo: See who gives a fuck. If I have no more nobodies, that means I'm hanging out with somebody.

Agnus: You'll soon regret leaving me here!

Credo: I'm not leaving you, dumbass! I only regret not leaving you sooner…

Agnus: See? You are full of regret. Wait, wat!? (Moves in front of him)

Credo: I didn't ask for a she-male stripper so get your head out the way!

Agnus: Don't you like what you see?

Credo: Is that excessive Viagra that you use going to your thick head?

Agnus: Silly Credo. Don't you know that Viagra makes penises grow, not heads?

Credo: Silly Agnus. Don't you know that you are a dickhead?

Agnus: Fine then! Good day to you! (Walks out leaving Credo drinking whiskey and looking at chicks)

(After a few seconds Agnus walks back into the bar)

Credo: I thought you were leaving…

Agnus: I was joking…

(Then the view is back to Devil May Cry with everyone still there)

Trish: …And that is the end of the story…

(Everyone applauds)

Lady while still in the bottomless pit of death: THAT STORY WAS SHIT!!! WHAT WAS THE USE OF THAT ENDING!!!?!?!??

Master Chief: Shut up, bitch! (Tries to throw a Plasma Grenade in the pit but it sticks to his hand). Not again!!! (Blows up and an Elite runs over and 'teabags that shit!' while a voice says 'Suicide!' in a very cool way)

Arbiter: Yeah, yeah bitch. Who's yo daddy!?

Dante: Okay…Anyway, that's it for now so unless you got a job for me, get the hell out of here!

Director: I'll pay double your salary if we can have a sequel here!

Dante: But I don't have a salary.

Director: Fine! I'll triple it!

Dante: We have a deal.

(Dante and Director shake hands and both give a toothy smile at the camera)

_And that is how it all ended. __I'm glad everyone had finished on a good note. Except for Lady. And Master Chief. And Agnus. Okay, well it was a good ending for Credo, right? Right!?!_


	9. Special Features

_Okay, maybe I'm going too far with the extras and stuff but I couldn't help but add extras in I and it's almost been a year since the 'Show' started so it's like an almost anniversary event thingy. This is a 'Behind the Scenes' look into the making of 'Teh Credo Show!!!' and I added deleted scenes and a trailer for the hell of it. I was thinking of getting Chapter One and adding some commentary as well but, meh…_

**Behind Teh Scenes:**

(Nero is standing in front of a huge banner saying 'Teh Epic Secrets of Teh Credo Show!!!')

Nero: Hi, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Johnny and I am your host for this behind 'teh' scenes look of the premiere of the newly released 'Teh Credo Show'. You may know me as 'Nero' from said series. Now let's meet my colleagues.

(He smiles widely and then it cuts to a scene where they are outside a trailer)

Nero: Okay let's see what Lady is up to… (Walks in with the camera and the trailer leads to showing us 'Lady' and 'Kyrie' doing…stuff…)

Lady: Oh, hey Johnny! You back for more…? (Makes room for Nero on the bed that Lady and Kyrie are on)

Nero: Oh, no! I was seeing if you could have a few words with the camera for the 'The Credo Show' Behind the Scenes!

Kyrie: Oh, so you guys want some girl-on-girl action? (Kyrie and Lady continue doing…stuff…)

Lady while doing stuff: Yeah, if you just wanted to film it, you didn't need to pretend it was something for the show…

Nero: Wait, whoa what?!

Kyrie: We're not that into Role-Playing anyway… (Continue doing stuff)

Nero: Right…I guess I should just leave you guys alone…

(As the girls continue to do more awkward stuff, Nero just smiles and then picks up his phone and calls someone on the phone)

Nero: Hey, is Sarah (Trish's actress) there? Oh, hi there! Are you… doing stuff? No I'm not asking you out again, one slap in the face is enough. No, what I really wanted to do is see if you could an interview with me about the things you did on 'The Credo Show'…No this isn't Role Play...Yes, there's going to be a camera because it's an interview…

Lady: Come back to bed, Nero!!!

Nero: No, I'm not trying to do a porno…What…? The noise's in the background? It's Lady and Kyrie's actresses. No it's not like that! I didn't know they were doing…stuff…Hello? Hello?! Damn!! (Puts phone away looks at the girls and looks back to the camera which begins to shake a bit)

Kyrie: What were you doing, Johnny?

Nero: (To 'Kyrie') Calling 'Trish'…Okay, so after a bit of misunderstanding (The camera drifts off to looking at the girls), we can't get an interview with Trish right now, but we'll go see a few other things... (Grabs camera), hey focus on me, not them. Wait, cameraman…Are you jacking off!?

(Cameraman's voice is heard)

Cameraman: Whoa, no way! Whoa sorry man! (Zipping sound is heard)

Nero: Okay…well to the next thing we're going to do!

(The camera changes to Nero having an interview with Sanctus)

Nero: So what is it like to act as an old priest turned evil power fanatic?

Sanctus: In my day, it'll be insulting to act in such a character! When I was a child, we were brought up to believe that everything in the world is insulting!

Nero: O…kay…So how was the cast? Who was your friend behind the scenes?

Sanctus: In my day, it'll be insulting to have friends behind the scenes! When I was a boy, my father would beat me until the cows come home if I ever had friends!

Nero: Hmmm…. So what's the most insulting thing in the world?

Sanctus: Television!!! When I was a boy, my television insulted many things, like movies and our humanity!

Nero: And you don't like that?

Sanctus: Yes!!!

Nero: So what are you thoughts on movies and our humanity?

Sanctus: (Begins spitting when he talks) IT'S INSULTING!!! When I was a boy…!

Nero: Okay, next question! So…what are your thoughts on Retirement Homes?

('Sanctus' has a heart attack)

Nero: Whoops… (Smiles at camera awkwardly, until)…Hey, are you masturbating again!?

(The camera changes to Nero having a heated discussion with some huge guy at a public spot)

Nero: …But I called him up and he said I could give him an interview!

Huge Guy: Sorry, but my client's fan schedule is full and cannot visit you right now!

Nero: That's why I'm visiting him! And I'm not even a fan! I was a co-star of 'The Credo Show'…

Huge Guy: Never heard of it…

Nero: Reuben acts on the goddamn show!!!

Huge Guy: I'm pretty sure I would know what my client would be working on…

Nero: Well, what do you think he does for a living?

Huge Guy: He told me he was a yoga instructor…

Nero: Yoga instructor? Does he look like he's a yoga instructor? Okay, just let me talk to him!

Huge Guy: My client is too busy to talk to you because he is doing…stuff…

Nero: Oh… (Turns to camera) Sorry, guys. We can't manage a visit with 'Dante', because he's doing…stuff…

(Dante walks out of the public toilet and he adjusts his collar on the trenchcoat)

Dante: Oh sorry, Johnny! I was busy doing…stuff…

(Four chicks walk out of the same public toilet, half-assed dressed, with some 'white stuff' soaked on them and they all wave at Dante)

Girls: See ya later, Reuben!

Dante: Later, babes! Don't forget to lick the stuff off!!!

Nero: Okay, so let's talk…

Dante: Sure…

Nero: So, what was it like when…

Huge Guy: Sorry, that's enough time!

Nero: What?

Huge Guy: There's been a threat to the President of the United States!

Nero: But he's not the President!

Huge Guy: Yeah…but he wants to be there when the President gets assassinated!

Dante: Yeah, was a good interview, it's been real, but I gatta go now! (Handshakes a confused Nero) Peace out, yo!

Nero: …Okay… (Still smiles awkwardly)

(The camera changes to Nero talking with Master Chief)

Nero: So, John, right? What was it like to be playing a Spartan in a show that is completely unrelated to Halo?

Master Chief: Yer mind if I take this helmet off first?

Nero: Yeah! Sure! (Turns to the camera) Oh god, I can't believe I'm going to see Master Chief's face!

(Master Chief takes of his helmet to reveal that he is also 'Sanctus')

Sanctus: Anyway, in my day…

Nero: Aww, fuck!

Sanctus: …I'm completely insulted that I am playing a Spartan which wears technology armor, and furthermore…!!!

Nero: Hey, is that a Retirement Home!? (Points outside window)

('Master Chief' has a heart attack)

Nero: Sure got rid of him…

(The picture changes into Nero talking to a 2-D cardboard duplicate of Trish)

Nero: So Sarah, what are your thoughts on that hunky guy that plays Nero on the set?

Nero imitating Trish covering his mouth from his camera: Oh my God, we definitely have something for each other. We are closer than anything you could ever imagine!

Nero: So you seem to like him very much?

(Trish walks in)

Trish: What the FUCK IS THIS?!!?1!!

Nero: Oh shit!! I… You were getting late so I… (looks at the camera)…Wait… The cameraman is masturbating again!!!!

(The picture cuts off to Nero actually interviewing Trish, sitting next to her boyfriend Credo. Nero looks like he wants to punch Credo)

Nero: So… How is it going with your studies?

Trish: Oh yeah, I'm studying law, philosophy and also astrophysics. I've currently got a degree in…

Nero: How big is his penis?

Trish: Wh… What!?

Nero: How big!!!?!!? Mine can be bigger!!!! I've taken all those pills that enlarge it!!

Credo: Okay, I think we might go…

Nero: No, you shut up! Is this your interview!? Are you being interviewed!?! (Turns to Trish) I'm way more sensitive, I can protect you, I'm romantic!!!! WHY DON'T YOU WANNA BE WITH **MEEEEEEEE!!?!!??!!!??**

(Nero tries to grab onto Trish and she starts to scream. Credo pushes him off and they begin a slapping fight both shouting 'Stop it', 'No you stop it' and 'you're gay!' until Trish punches Nero out cold. The picture changes to Nero outside of the hospital with a giant black eye)

Nero: Okay… so that's it for today but…

Agnus: Wait!!!! You haven't interviewed me yet!!!

Nero: Alright!!!! Hi, Agnus. How is it like to be in a crappy show like ours?

('Agnus' reveals that he is wearing a suit that makes him like Agnus. He takes it off to reveal he's Sanctus)

Nero: Wait... WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

Sanctus: Anyway, in my day…

Nero: **RETIREMENT HOMES!!!!!!!**

(Sanctus drops dead)

Nero: Okay, so that's all we have time for, so for the sake of putting food on my table… wait, don' even watch 'The Credo Show', I think I might just go commit suicide.

(Nero leaves and the cameraman turns his camera to dead Sanctus and a masturbating noise is heard)

_I made the Deleted Scenes have nothing to do anything to the actual story and just show the characters doing stuff, like a bunch of skits._

**Deleted Scenes:**

_I kinda made the trailer small so as if it's a skit like the deleted scenes or something…_

(First scene starts with Grim Reaper and Angel from the beginning)

Grim Reaper: So, how's it going in Heaven?

Angel: Uhhhh, I got my house robbed last night and last week, some drunken bastard crashed into my chariot.

Grim Reaper: Hmmmm, life sucks. No wonder why I end them…

Angel: Yeah, well what about you?

Grim Reaper: Meh. Robbed some loser's house last night, because he crashed his chariot into my dark horse last week.

Angel: Nice… wait, what?!

(Scene changes to when Agnus annoying Credo when he's using the phone)

Agnus: So, you like using phones?

Credo: Shut it, Agnus! I'm using the phone…(On the phone) Oh, hi I was wondering…. Oh, just a recording…

Agnus: So, what about my question?

Credo: I'm on the phone!!!

Agnus: Well, are you going to talk to the r-r-r-r-recording?

Credo: No, I'd just rather listen to the music on the phone than your annoying stuttering!

(Silence for a while)

Agnus: Can I listen?

Credo: No, shut up!

Agnus: Give it!!

Credo: NO, FUCK OFF!!!

Agnus: YOU HAVE TO SHARE!!!!!

Credo: NUH-UH!!!

(Scene changes to the demons in the Demon Bar)

Scarecrow: Ya know what's bullshit? This blade on my foot! It's so awkward and I can hardly move properly! I'd rather have my blade on my right hand?

Hell Vanguard: Then how will you jack off?

Scarecrow: Shut up!!! You guys are always picking on me!!! Yous guys are racists!!!

Hell Vanguard: Awww, nuts!!!

Scarecrow: Dangit, I'm outta here!!!

(Scarecrow runs cryin')

Hell Vanguard: Imma go take a leak…

(Hell Vanguard leaves)

Marionette: Yeah, you ever get tired of having one attack?

Hell Sloth: Nah! It's not like some demon hunters are going to walk through the door…

(Credo and Agnus walk through the door and then the scene changes to Credo and Agnus, Agnus explaining how he got more kills than Credo)

Credo: So how did you do it?

Agnus: Do what?

Credo: Kill 4999 demons so god damn quickly?

Agnus: Used a cheat code.

Credo: Cheat code!? Why you devious little… what's the cheat code?

Agnus: Press, A, B X, Y, Y, X, X, X, X, X, X.

Credo: Okay… (Enters cheat code and turns into a talking penis)

Agnus: Awwww, that looks kinda cute!!!

Credo: YOU FUCKING…!!!!

(Scene changes to Beowulf in the toilet)

Beowulf: THE EXCREMENT SPARDA WILL COME STRAIGHT OUT OF MY** AHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!**

(Beowulf walks out of the toilet and sees Berial and his friends filming it, laughing a bit)

Berial: "THE EXCREMENT SPARDA WILL COME STRAIGHT OUT OF MY** AHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!**"

(Friends start laughing)

Beowulf: Awwww, you little bitch!!!

Berial: What's wrong? Got a devil hunter up your ass!?!!

(Friends laugh again)

Beowulf: That's it!!! I WILL ANNIHILATE EVERY LAST BLOOD RELATIONG OF BERIAL!!!

Berial: That's what you said about the shit that came out of your ass!!!

(Friends laugh again and Beowulf storms off. Scene changes to a bunch of Hell Sloth's, Scarecrows and a Marionette outside a small building.)

Hell Sloth: So what happened to the Hell Vanguard?

Scarecrow: Word on the street, he went insane because of some demon hunters in Hell that trashed his bar.

Hell Sloth: Awww, nuts! Demon Hunters! Who are they?

Scarecrow: Word on the street, dey new kids from downtown!!!

Hell Sloth: Downtown? Awww, damn…! Which way's downtown again?

Scarecrow: Word on the street…

Marionette: Guys, shut up!!!

Scarecrow: Word on the street, you a racist, bitch!!!

Marionette: No, do you guys here that!!!

(Echidna is heard)

Echidna: Well to answer his question, I do in fact have a penis!!!

Scarecrow: Did she say what I think she said?

(And that's the end)

**The Trailer: **

Narrator: This summer… (A scene of Credo and Agnus battling demons)… One man… One transsexual… And one mission… To escape Hell!

(Picture shows Credo and Agnus before battling Bael and Dagon)

Agnus: Would your mother happen to have a gigantic p….

Credo: Shut it!

Bael: Well to answer your question…

Credo: Shut it!

Dagon: Are you guys talking about our mother's gigantic…

Credo: SHUT IT!

Agnus, Dagon and Bael: Sorry…

Narrator: The newest blockbuster to hit the cinemas! A film by Michael Bay… (The picture changes to all the scenes where there are explosions and some Linkin Park songs are played) 'The Credo Show', coming soon… wait, 'show'? It's not even a fucking movie!?!?! Why is there a fucking trailer for some stupid ass show!!! Ugh, whatever, FUCK THIS SHIT!!!11!11!1

_Meh, I guess the trailer was a bit small and didn't add too much in the jokes list, but just felt like adding one…_


End file.
